Yes. You read that right.
AP has uncovered an Al-Qaida performance review of one of its terrorists. Even the most dangerous terrorist group in the world has a functioning HR department.
The AP document is apparently a portion of a letter seized from the Human Resources department of a branch office of al Qaida. Evidently, this guy’s yearly performance reviews have not been satisfactory for quite some time.
Here is a quick snippet from an AP article:
“After years of trying to discipline him, the leaders of al-Qaida’s North African branch sent one final letter to their most difficult employee. In page after scathing page, they described how he didn’t answer his phone when they called, failed to turn in his expense reports, ignored meetings and refused time and again to carry out orders…The list of slights is long: He would not take their phone calls. He refused to send administrative and financial reports. He ignored a meeting in Timbuktu, calling it “useless.” He even ordered his men to refuse to meet with al-Qaida emissaries. And he aired the organization’s dirty laundry in online jihadist forums, even while refusing to communicate with the chapter via the Internet, claiming it was insecure.”
It is amazing how professional the terrorist organization is. There’s serious discussion in the document about how the unsatisfactory employee decided to go out and launch a rival start-up. There are also expense reports and accusations of his ripping the organization in chat forums – something all HR departments can identify with.
This all goes to prove that reality is sometimes harder to believe than fiction.